How ironic.

  Is it not terribly ironic that, after posting about the terrorist fish, said terrorist fish is discovered, dead as a doorknob? Here is a short eulogy for The Fish:
   Voldemort was a very cute little fish, adored by many (okay, maybe like, 2.). A fish of humble beginnings, he was unceremoniously thrown at his owner at a town get-together. His owner, a young vet prospect, recalls when she first set eyes on him:
  "He was really ugly. He had these beady little eyes and a snide little smirk. But the sarcasm in those gills was irresistible, so I brought him home and named him Voldemort."
  Voldemort also came with another fish, who was considerably less diabolical, but suicidal. She died within the first month, due to her repeated attempts to brain herself by ramming into the aquarium glass. Apparently fish can get concussions. 
   This little terrorist lived a very happy life, swimming around in his fish bowl (yes, she did clean it, if you must know.), collecting fish flakes to make his bomb. The frequent attempts to take his owner's life did not dim her affection to him (well, it did, but she didn't kill him intentionally.). 
   Cause of death is unknown, but judging from the disturbed aquarium rocks, authorities are suspecting fish-slaughter. Due to Voldemort's mafia history, we suspect one of his old enemies, possibly Johnny One-Gill, or Scaly Ricky. Bloodhounds are hot on the trail of this cold-blooded fish-killer. 
   Autopsy has not been conducted yet, but shall be done soon, while the cadaver is still fresh. Afterwards, the body will be donated to science.
  The end.
Goodbye, Voldy! I came up with a rather morbid little song. My readers may not appreciate it, but oh well. Here goes:
  "Goodbye, Voldy Voldy Voldy!
   I need to get you out of your cage,
   before you turn moldy moldy moldy!
   You were a good fishy, fishy, fishy!
   Though you will be better sushi, sushi, sushi!"
 No, he's not going to be sushi. That was the only thing I could think of that remotely rhymed with "fishy", though, besides "dishy" and "wishy". I am actually planning on dissecting the body. Vet credit, you know.
   I just knew that finding out my best friend was moving would ruin this week... Soon the milk will be spoiling, and the dog'll drop over dead! That was a cockamamie statement, but que sera sera. Should I write a eulogy for him, too? He's not dead. But he is moving to Washington. Which is as good as (and you know I'm kidding, Wes!). A eulogy may not be appreciated though. Seeing as he's still alive and kicking (which is mildly punny, him being an orange belt). Hmm. We shall see.
A much sobered EQ signing off