This is a Blog Post!

   Well. Hi there! I should probably start out with something witty...

   Haha! It's so punny!
  Ehem. Anyways.
   I went to the state horse bowl competition! And got second! And third overall! And first at the horse judging contest! And 8th individually! And we're going to nationals! In either Kentucky or Ohio!
  So yeah.

  Have you ever looked through your internet's search history, and wonder what the heck you were looking for, and if you had been drugged by some random stalker before you looked it up? I mean really, think of what conclusions would be drawn about me by looking at my history:
 Dreadlocks
 Human Deformities
 Anorexia
 Hippie Songs About Drugs (?!)
 Woman Claims 3-D Movie Caused Her Pregnancy
 Bible Verse Emu Is Stupid
 Fork In A Toaster
 Cannibalism
 Third Reicht
 Is The Ourobourus Society For Real
 Keeping A Horse From Sticking It's Tongue Over The Bit
 let me in, let me in, or I'll blow your house down song
 Child Experiments Holocaust
 Lupuslupophobia 
 Parallelogram has endpoints (3,3) and (1,7) opposite side endpoints 

Does this explain why the internet sends me these ads that involve recovering anorexics, emu oil, tack, and math help?
Creepy stalker Firefox.
IT'S WATCHING ME.

  
Same with my library card- my recently checked out books are:
A Walk Across The Sun (excellent book)
The Boy Who Dared (not yet started)
The Miseducation of Cameron Post (this book should probably be shredded and burned)
Eternal (same as above)
Th3 Cha0s (meh-ish.)
No One Is Here, Except All Of Us (LOOVVEEE)
Wheel Of Time- The Beginning (Not the best, but certainly not Twilight bad)
I mean, the above books involve women's rights, the apocalypse, WWII, etc...

 Umm...

There you go! One blog post! With pictures! And words!

Adventures in Archery! (With 'Hunger Games' references!)

So, I did archery yesterday!

It. Was. Awesome.

Not to brag or anything, but I actually hit the target. *nods proudly*

(Target to scale at about 5 yards away)

 (Me before shooting)

(Aaaiiimmm...)

(FIRE!!!)

(It hits the target!)

(Next Mockingjay, anyone?)

   All in all, it was a success. I had a seriously awesome time, and our instructor rocks. And, also very important, my bow is powder blue. Mm-hmm. *nods head approvingly*

   Of course, the boys next to us ('us' meaning the ah-mazing group of girls I was with) ended up with their target looking like: 

(Hmph. A bunch of Gale Hawthorne's, eh?!)

   Oh well! Practice, practice, practice!

   I think I'm hooked on shooting things with arrows, now.

   All those squirrels better watch out.

(I had to close it with a 'Hunger Games' reference! If you understood that, you should start following this blog. Right now.)

May the odds be ever in your favor!

Update

  Hello, all! 'Fraid I have not posted an update in quite a while! Well, some things that have been going on are:
-Horse Bowl: We were able to get a team together, and win at districts! On to state!
-Horse Demonstration: I gave my presentation on Equine Soring at the county competition, got first in my division, and will be presenting it at state
-Karate Tournament: Competed and did okay- I managed to get first in kata's, and last in kumite! :-)
-4-H: I will be taking Logan to her first 4-H horse meeting this Tuesday! Here's to not dying, ja? However, she has been doing quite wonderfully; I was able to canter her several laps around the round pen, without her bucking terribly!
-Writing: Have started a new story!
However, on a sadder note, I'm sorry to say that my Appaloosa, Sugar, passed away early this morning. She was about 30 years old, and died without a struggle, so I'm thankful for that.
On the other hand, it is improper to close a blog on a sad topic, so here is an adorable picture of Logan:

How To Watch "The Shining" Like a Normal Person

  I am, quite honestly, addicted to The Shining. It happens to be one of my favorite movies- ever. So, when it was on at 11 last night, me and Dad decided to stay up and watch it. Total father daughter bonding experience! So, where a normal person would look like:

Whereas, my dad and I end up looking like:

And my mom looks like:

   However, despite the conflicting opinions on this exceptional psychological horror film, no one can say it isn't a classic (well, besides mom). I don't understand why people consider it to be scary! It's a wonderful film about what happens when you take care of a hotel in the middle of nowhere and are a writer! Well, and go insane. And crazy-axe-murderer. But what other movie could make "I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!", and "Heeeeerree's JOHNNY!" so utterly memorable? Certainly the Grimm fairy tales (I believe they did the "3 Pigs" story? It always reminded me of "Animal Farm" to be honest, but everyone to their own) and the Johnny Carson Show never made the statements so famous.
  And the whole "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" written over, and over, and over again on a typewriter? Totally epic. Every time- every time- I sit down at my typewriter to write something, I can't help thinking to myself, or even saying it in a low voice:
"Reeddd ruummmm!"

   I honestly can't help writing a few lines of "Red Rum" on the paper. Then, for giggles and kicks, I'll throw in a few "Here's Johnny!"'s, too. Or even my real name! Which I shan't disclose. Sorry. *maniacal laughter*
  Anyways, it's a lovely movie. At least, for the semi-deranged (not that I am, in any way, shape, or form! Well, okay, maybe when I've had 3 cups of coffee past 7 o'clock at night). Especially fun to watch right before bed! While I suppose some people would look like:

While, had I heard a bump in the night, and presumed it was an insane axe-wielding alchohalic, I would end up looking more like:

Heeeerree's Johnny!
P.S. Not sure where I was going with this post. I started it pretty late last night and lost my train of thought when I went to finish it this morning. So there ya go.

Nazism- Could It Happen Again?

   After a lovely political chat over a cup of tea and cookies with a friend, we came down to an interesting topic- Nazi Germany, and it's connections with America today.
  No, I'm not a radical right-wing extremist. However, bear with me for a second as I list the similarities between the two:
Germany's traits:
-Religious oppression
-Censorship of books in schools
-Government interference in schools
-Youth training by the government
-Extreme regulation by "Big Brother"
-Assassination of anti-Nazi citizens

Now, in comparison, America today's traits:
-Religious oppression
Is it not considered oppressive to ban school children from telling each other "Merry Christmas" in schools, because it is religiously "incorrect"? To refuse to allow children support their beliefs from a young age is just contributing to the lack of religion, moral values, and standing in society today.
-Censorship of books in schools
"Fahrenheit 451", "Huckleberry Finn", "To Kill a Mockingbird"? How has the government been able to remove influential classic literature from our public school systems?
-Government interference in schools:
As if censoring the books weren't enough, they had to remove the Pledge of Allegiance and prayer from schools as well? What about the politics they teach, that the government will take care of you- no matter what you end up doing, be you a nurse or living off well-fare? Not to mention their twisted view on America's history and founding principles.
-Youth training by the government
What with all the "programs" put out by the White House, there is no way for many of America's youth to escape the constant bombardment of propaganda being put out- how, thanks to the government, there is no need to worry about getting a job, or earning a living. Don't worry, the rich will pay for it.
-Extreme regulation by "Big Brother"
One only needs to look outside at the cities to see how regulation by the government is affecting citizen's every day lives. They control prices of goods, how most foods are processed, marketing, etc. 
-Assassination of Anti-Nazi citizens:
While we are currently in no danger of being assassinated due to disagreeing with the officials running our 'free' country (though our right to free speech may be in danger soon), Obama is able to have anyone he wants assassinated- even in the US. 
  How are people ignoring these warning signs? While I doubt there will be another genocide of a certain religion, what about the other affects of Nazism? The fact that the gov has put out armored, x-rayed vans that can see every part of your house, exactly where you are and what you're doing, and who you're with is rather unnerving- what happened to privacy? While neighbors aren't yet ratting out their friends, what about the "neighborhood watch" who gunned down an innocent kid walking down the street the other day?
 How do we maintain our simple liberties- freedom of speech, religion, bearing firearms- if the government is taking it away? It's like "Animal Farm" by George Orwell- they are taking our amendment rights, and slowly narrowing them! When our freedom of speech is gone, how will we be able to learn what's really going on in the government? When the government controls all the sources of information, what will we do instead? Will we just be brainwashed?
  Just some interesting things to think about...
  Where is our nation going?
Excellent links:
http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/20-signs-that-the-nazification-of-america-is-almost-complete
http://www.glennbeck.com/
http://www.worldviewweekend.com/worldview-times/article.php?articleid=4881
http://www.hermes-press.com/germany1930.htm
Promise I'll get back to the humor in the next post ;-)

So This is Kind of Random

   Hello, everyone! I've not had much time to blog, what with settling in the pony, school, karate, 4-H, social life, etc. I'm planning on posting some pictures in the future of Logan(that would be the pony), the dog in his cone, and other random things. Until then, Auf Wiedersehen!

Of *Course* I Want to Reelect Obama!

   Note the heavy sarcasm in title.  

  Well, another election is coming up, and Republican campaigns are in full swing! Who will it be? Ron Paul? Newt Gingrich? Or will it be...
   President Barack Obama?
  Some gasps from the audience would be fitting right about now.
  You would think that, after being sold out to China, being threatened by the Middle East, borderline recession, people would have wised up a bit and would realize that, if we do not take this man out of office, America is going to be even worse off. However, here's a clip from some of the supporters, 4 years ago:

  

(In this video, the questioners are asking people what they like about Obama's policies- but they're actually McCains)

  I suppose with this level of thinking, I'm overestimating American citizens again.

    If American's voters are pretending to understand what they're talking about, when they honestly have no clue, how are we going to get America out of this mess? Then again, maybe they just want a president who's intellect makes them look superior... Watch this clip:

                                       

(57 states, eh? See what happens when the teleprompter goes missing?)

   To be honest, I think this is turning more into a race election than anything- that's what it was 4 years ago. People are so afraid of being called "racist", they vote out of fear of being labeled- even though they don't know what either candidate stands for! I am a white conservative teen, but I would vote for any candidate, male or female, black, white, Hispanic, whatever, provided they have sturdy, sound policies that they stand by. In the 2008 election, McCain did not once make any mention to Pres. Obama's race- our president did. In the presidents words:

"They're going to try to say that I'm a risky guy. They're going to try to say, well, you know, he's got a funny name, and he doesn't look like all the presidents on the dollar bills and the $5 bills."

-FOXnews.com

    I have not once heard anyone from the Right Wing say anything regarding his race, except for saying, in their own words, that he is pulling the race card. If we are to get rid of racism in America, stop bringing it up. According to Morgan Freeman:

    

(See? Logical thinking is not unattainable!)

   Since Obama's election, the new statistics are:

-88 million out of work, and not looking for jobs (working age)

-30% unemployment for over 52 weeks

-Worker health insurance prices have raised by 23%

-Home values have declined by 13%

-Average price of gasoline has risen by 90%

-Americans living in poverty has risen to over 6,000,000

-National debt has reached 44% higher than before he was elected

-Said debt is being increased by 4 billion dollars a day, since Obama has been elected.

(http://www.mrconservative.com/2012/02/2016-18-statistics-on-obama/   for more stats)

  

This years election will certainly be interesting.

Finally!

  Well, after almost a year of searching, I found her- my dream horse! She is a 5 year old Trakehner mare, registered as Limited Edition with the Trakehner assn. She's had about 30 days on her, is 16.2, and a dark bay (darker than in the pics). She is only $1,500, and she comes home Tuesday! Her sire is Kobra Von C, who happens to be the half-brother of Moorlands Totilas, making her from the Gribaldi line. Without further ado, here she is (pics from her inspection)!

 

 

   Sorry the quality of the pics is heinous,  the scanner is not the best! But you can get a pretty good idea of her basic conformation, and she's even more gorgeous now (these are several years old). You can all expect to be bombarded with pictures this Tuesday evening!

I can't wait!

Why You Should Never Watch a Program on Aliens With a Fever

  Colds suck.
  That's all there is to it.
  You feel miserable, hurt everywhere, have a headache that feels like an army of about 30 chipmunks are all pounding on the inside of your head with miniature mallets, and your throat feels like about 400 fleas have all decided to make their residence inside of it and are all stabbing your throat simultaneously. And you know it's nothing to complain about, because you could have Malaria, or Consumption, or some other horrible malady. But you're still insufferably cranky.
    That's how I've been all week.
   So last night was probably the worst of it, because that's when I finally got the fever (which is usually the breaking point, but is horribly annoying). So after going the day without drinking much of anything, except for a cup of Airborne, missing a concert with a friend, and basically just bumbling around the house mumbling to myself in a haze because I finished my (400 page) book in a day, and had really nothing to do, I was rather... dazed. So at 9:30, after grabbing a piece of toast and getting ready for bed, I see this on the TV:

  

   As I walked past the television with my toast, humming, I see a man who looks like he stuck a fork in a toaster and turned it on, talking about aliens. Am I the only one seeing the irony here? So, as I walk past, I look rather like:

  

   So, having nothing to live for because of my pathetic ailments, this was like utter peril- the man on the television is telling us that our world is doomed and aliens are going to invade! And doesn't everyone know that, if a guy can afford that much hair gel, he must know what he's talking about, right?

   Well, that evening I learned that Ben Franklin was most likely abducted by aliens, America was founded on alien principles, and they are watching our every move.

   Oh, and my dog is probably an alien too.

   3 A.M. found me in a dazed stupor, watching my dog from my bed in an attempt to find some sort of evidence of her prior abduction: 

  

   Until finally, at 7:

  And this is why you should never watch a program on aliens on the History Channel while half delusional. You might just see this:

The View from the Orthodontist Chair

   A visit to a dentist is a harrowing one, but in my mind, the Orthodontist trumps them all. Laughing gas forbidden, despite the torturous nature of these visits, the patients must simply subject to having their mouth pried open with horrific plastic cups, bringing to mind geeks of the 80s, having wires measured and clipped in their mouths, copious amounts of glue running down their teeth, and the dreaded ceramic molds are a given.
   My experience today was of the "I hate you all and don't know how you got certified" variety. It started off simple enough, until they said, in their disgustingly cheerful voice, "We're going to bond some brackets today! It may be a little... tricky."
   Note to aspiring students in the branch of orthodontics: "Tricky" is a dirty word. Along with "Oops!"
   Anyways, me being the utterly trusting and forgiving person I am (note the sarcasm), I settled down in the chair and put on the oversized sunglasses offered. From my position, the only thing I had of interest to look at was the light and the ceiling:

 

   After the lady led me in there and got me set up, she then left to go do some paperwork, leaving me to my thoughts and- hey, that spot looks like the big dipper!

     After making friends with the dots (Unwell by Matchbox20, anyone?) for about 20 minutes, Mr. Orthodontist himself came in, with two assistants. I gave an involuntary shudder as they pulled on the violet rubber gloves.

Mr. Orthodontist: So, how've things been?

Me: Okay, but-

Mr. Orthodontist: Teeth been well?

Me:Yes, except for th-

Mr. Orthodontist: Nothing poking?

Me: Well, there's this one wire in the ba-

Mr. Orthodontist: Glad to hear it's going well! So today we're going to bond some wires! *claps hands excitedly* Won't that be fun? 

  2 assistants nod in perfect unison. I presume this is what professional assistant hitmen look like when they're about to bag someone

Me: Umm...

Mr Orthodontist: Now open wide as I cram this hideously large mouth opener into your piehole so you can't speak, swallow, or move without possibly beheading yourself!

Me: ...

  The ensuing picture was a degrading one. There is nothing more humiliating than a wire mouth opener stretching your mouth out obscenely and the orthodontist practically sitting on you as he jams a syringe full of glue towards the back of your mouth while the assistants hand him more instruments with bland disinterest, discussing the new girl's car. I think it was the syringe that got me to freak out.

Me: Blur blibbing be a dot?! (roughly translated: You're giving me a shot?! Vile person!)

Mr. Orthodontist: I can't understand you, now hold still!

   I had been wiggling slightly to avoid the dreaded shot that I knew was coming, I suppose, but once I found out it was just a glue applicator I calmed down a bit. A little. Maybe. Anyways, after a particularly nerve wracking experience which involved me thinking he was looking at my teeth with a mirror, only to have it start vibrating (What the heck is going on, ohmygoshgetmeoutgetmeout THEY'RE GOING TO KILLLLL MEEEE!), then realizing it was one of those polisher thingys, he decided that, to get a better grip on my head, he would hook his thumb under my jaw (right at the pressure point), and hook a finger right behind my ear (the other pressure point), and pinch my cheek ruthlessly, like an over-exuberant aunt. It was horrific.

   I shall spare you the details of being whacked in the mouth when they dropped the pliers, getting glue on my nose of all places, and the dreaded "I just cut the wire in her mouth, and can't find the other piece". Utterly miserable. 

   But hey, I get them off either this summer or fall! HUZZAH!

How Chicken and Dumplings ruined my family's Social Life

   Our family is notedly anti-social. I can remember having company over maybe 5 times in my entire life. That's not to say we don't eat at other people's houses, but there appears to be something about our own domain that scares people off- besides the alleged man(or 11 year old girl...*cough*)-eating dog. No, I suspect it has something to do with the Chicken and Dumplings Incident...
   Quite a while ago, we were about to have some of mom's friends from work over. I was about 6 or so (or younger), and "helping" mummy in the kitchen. Well, one of mom's caveat dishes is a fantastic Chicken and Dumplings, and she was bustling away in the kitchen, chopping this, dicing that, amply tossing cubed chicken into the alluring broth sending delectable smelling steam above the pot.
   She was very excited and had the television on, glancing at that every once and a while, only slipping up and slicing her finger moderately deeply when she got distracted keeping me out of trouble (like not tossing my stuffed bear into the pot, tossing the dog's toy into the pot, tipping the pot over atop myself...). She amply shook spices and herbs into the bowl, making sure to get just the right amount, and of only the least spicy, as to not upset our spice-detesting guests. Flamboyantly stirring her delicious concoction, she looked like something straight off of Iron Chef, or Julia Childs reincarnated. It was mildly eerie, but quite impressive.
   After showily dipping the (clean) tablespoon into the simmering pot of Utter Liquid Joy and tasting said liquid, she pursed her lips, mumbles of "could use some pepper" softly under her breath. As we live out in the middle of nowhere, we buy all of our food in large bulk quantities- in other words, from Costco. All of our meat, vegetables, dried foods, etc, come in packages of about 17. Thus, our pepper container is about 2.5 pounds in total weight.
    As she carefully tipped the large container over the pot, humming quietly to herself, she glanced over her shoulder, to see me attempting to give the cat a bath in the dog's water dish. She quietly (quietly in comparison to a 8.2 earthquake, I mean- everything is relative) reprimanded me for torturing the poor old man (I presume that weakened his defenses, causing him to die several years later, the shock submerging in ice cold water by a 6 year old took years off his life) and suddenly got a very strange look on her face. It was a look I have only seen represented once, on stone- The Thinker, I believe it was.
   Her eyebrows wrinkled a bit in the middle, and her mouth came up with this odd little pout. She ever so slowly turned back and looked at the container in her hand, eyes not quite registering the empty container in her hand.
   How on earth could it be empty- it was a brand new bottle, after all!
   Then she saw that it didn't have the shaker-filter, it was simply an open mouthed bottle.
   She looked to the floor, to see if possibly it had spilled, because she had been a mite too exuberant while scolding me. She glanced all around the stove top, even looking up to see if she had possibly tossed it up into the hood of the oven- but alas, nothing.
   Finally, she took the ultimatum.
   She looked down, down into the pot, once bubbling joyously, as though it knew it contained a meal that would make Emril Legosy (or whatever his name is) weak at the knees, now silent.
   There, entirely covering the beautiful golden brown, perfectly formed dumplings, was a mountain. A granite Mount Everest, made entirely of pepper. Around the sides the broth still bubbled, in a pathetic attempt to cheer her up, but being unsuccessful, as the sent of pepper overpowered it, and the fact that it just looked now rather like yellow lava bubbling about didn't quite accomplish the intended effect.
   Do you know how difficult it is to scrape damp, chicken-y pepper out of a pot of chicken and dumplings?
   She deserves a badge of honor, really.
   As I remember it, we never were able to restore the dumplings to their original glory. Stained black with the spice, they really lost their appeal, and after making several noble attempts to swallow them, they were ultimately tossed.
   The guests never came back.
(This story has been 87% true, and only slightly exaggerated)
(But I'm pretty sure word got around that we were deranged Cajuns trying to poison all those that belonged to the ani-pepper persuasion, which caused the stop to our social lives)
Moral of the story:
Don't leave the cat loose around your child when cooking chicken and dumplings. Especially not when you have the pepper in your hand.

The Cone of Shame.

  Today, we went to the vet.
  Our pedigree 102.5 pound German Shepard stud dog now looks like:

    

I'll try to post pictures of the beast actually wearing it later, along with details of the operation!

How to Survive an Airplane, Part 1

  Airplanes are tough. They smell oddly, they're noisy, and you have the ever present nagging in the back of your mind going "at any moment the engines could shut down, and we could plummet into some horrible uncharted territory, and cannibals could eat our dead bodies".  Luckily for you, I have come up with a list of the worst possible airplane situations, and how to remedy them:
1: Noise

  

Noise on a plane stinks. You've got the engine noises, some weirdo next to you snoring and making odd sounds, rather like a dying squirrel, an annoying person yakking their head off about their son's girlfriend's sister's dog groomer's wife's home decor woes, a baby bawling behind you, and all you want to do is try to enjoy your flight. Some solutions are:

Music works fantastically. The only issues that can arise are people getting offended because you're not listening to them yammer on about people you'll never meet, or their toe fungus that you really didn't need to know about. Oh, and that weird rule about how you can't have any electronics going during take off. Is that because the pilot will pick up on whatever you're listening to?

2: Cramped, uncomfortable seating

   

Airplane seating is not for you if you suffer from claustrophobia, or have issues not fleeing when you sit next to someone who smells of Mexican food. So far, the only thing I have found to be effective is:

 

It's rather entertaining seeing 3 adults piling into one seat in a hasty attempt to not be bitten by the presumed rabid rat.

3: Airplane food rations

It really is a crime what they give out as snacks. You've been plane hopping all day without a chance to eat, and you have no loose money with you to buy a real meal, so you're super-duper-yay-happy-joy-time excited when the lady offers you complementary crackers. You tear into the brightly colored package decorated with smiling flight attendants gleefully, listening to the satisfying crinkle as you rip the top seam. You reach into the bag to feel the spoils- and come up with 2 shriveled up, broken crackers that appear to have originally been shaped as miniature airplanes. The disappointment is almost indescribable, like winning a 15 mile marathon, only to have the trophy to be a piece of paper that says "congratulations!", and the prize money turns out to be a 25 dollar gift card to what other than The Plumbing Store. It's one of the most painful experiences a human being can go through.

   

Also, you may notice that they are almost always in the shape of airplanes. I have always found this to be remarkably ironic, seeing as how you're eating the very thing that's keeping you from toppling 20,000 feet out of the air to your certain doom. "Oh yeah! I think I'll go eat my transportation like some GODZILLA right now! Mmm, it's so good!"

4: Annoying people

Annoying people are, by far, one of the worst things you will encounter on a flight- especially a 5+ hour one. Noted for having bad breath and not understanding the concept of personal space, these creatures latch onto you and talk as though it's critical to your future to know every little detail about their dirty rotten cheating husband, or how they like Cheesits better than Cheetos. Only in movies do you meet someone like: 

   

Instead, you get someone with a chronic gum infection who wants you to help them put on their ointment. So far, I've found that pretending to not speak English helps:

Or also acting like a raving lunatic:

    

-Enter peace and quiet-

Threatening to eat people always does the trick.

This concludes How to Survive and Airplane, part 1!

So I'm going through a blizard, because of ponies.

   Aye, I have embarked on a journey to...
Seattle. Washington, Seattle.
   Excuse me for a moment...
    Ewwwwww it smells like fish.
  And it's cold and wet and clammy. Like a... fish!
  There, much better.
   Anyways, why did I go on this great excursion, leaving my nice, warm home to trek through the worst blizzard in 3 decades?
Ponies. That's it, I tell you. Ponies.
   Well, ponies and acrobatics.
   Let me start from the beginning.
   My mother is a nurse. Who hasn't had a sick day/taken a vacation in the past what, 20 years? Well, she hasn't worked there 20 years, but you get the gist. Anyways, the hospital decided that, to reimburse her, they would pay for a vacation! Lucky for us, Cavalia was coming to Seattle- the closest area in the tour to our little 20 person town. For those who don't know, Cavalia is a horse acrobatic act, put on by the producers of Cirque Du Solei. We rented a video of part of it, and it was amazing. I even have a model horse of one of the (deceased) equine stars!
   So anyways, we booked our tickets, obviously. Without checking the weather report. Obviously. So when we get up to drive xxx amount of miles this morning, we see this out the window:

\

Loverly, no? 

   Thankfully, we are well accustomed to poor driving conditions and obscene amounts of snow, so we just tightened our snow-wet coats and gritted our frozen teeth under wind chapped lips as we lost feeling in our toes trying to scrape .9 inch thick ice off the windshield. 

   So after we made the journey, we finally arrived at the hotel (the Red Lion- this is the fanciest hotel that I have stayed in. Ever. Almost.), and got settled in, reveling having a heater that stays a normal temperature, where you don't have to decide between surface-of-an-asteroid-entering-the-atmosphere, or Valley Forge. We then headed out to dinner, and had a very interesting conversation, which included me thinking that my presidential candidate of choice not only had a Gruella horse, but also called him 'Mouse':

Me: "So Dad, do you like gruella's?"

Dad: "Eh?", cocking hand to ear

Me: "Do you like gruella horses?!", louder, though still restaurant appropriate

Dad: "Yeah. That's when they look like a mouse, right?"

Me: "Well that's one way of putting it."
Dad: "Newt had a gruella."

Me: "NEWT?!"

Dad: "Yeah. Called it 'Mouse'"

Me: "Newt has a horse?! I didn't know that! He rides? All that jazz about his ex-wives must have kept me from finding out..."

Dad: (not paying attention) "Yeah, he rode it to round up all that cattle..."

Me: "GINGRICH ROUNDS UP CATTLE?!"

Dad: "... Newt from Lonesome Dove."

Me: "..."
  Let me tell you, it was a let down.
  Anyways, after that we've just been back at the hotel, recovering from the drive and watching army movies, while gagging on chlorine-fortified water, yum! I did find a pony that I'm hoping to go look at, a 17 hand Warmblood. He probably won't work out, but I'm going to try to be optimistic;-)
-EQ and Spirit

How ironic.

  Is it not terribly ironic that, after posting about the terrorist fish, said terrorist fish is discovered, dead as a doorknob? Here is a short eulogy for The Fish:
   Voldemort was a very cute little fish, adored by many (okay, maybe like, 2.). A fish of humble beginnings, he was unceremoniously thrown at his owner at a town get-together. His owner, a young vet prospect, recalls when she first set eyes on him:
  "He was really ugly. He had these beady little eyes and a snide little smirk. But the sarcasm in those gills was irresistible, so I brought him home and named him Voldemort."
  Voldemort also came with another fish, who was considerably less diabolical, but suicidal. She died within the first month, due to her repeated attempts to brain herself by ramming into the aquarium glass. Apparently fish can get concussions. 
   This little terrorist lived a very happy life, swimming around in his fish bowl (yes, she did clean it, if you must know.), collecting fish flakes to make his bomb. The frequent attempts to take his owner's life did not dim her affection to him (well, it did, but she didn't kill him intentionally.). 
   Cause of death is unknown, but judging from the disturbed aquarium rocks, authorities are suspecting fish-slaughter. Due to Voldemort's mafia history, we suspect one of his old enemies, possibly Johnny One-Gill, or Scaly Ricky. Bloodhounds are hot on the trail of this cold-blooded fish-killer. 
   Autopsy has not been conducted yet, but shall be done soon, while the cadaver is still fresh. Afterwards, the body will be donated to science.
  The end.
Goodbye, Voldy! I came up with a rather morbid little song. My readers may not appreciate it, but oh well. Here goes:
  "Goodbye, Voldy Voldy Voldy!
   I need to get you out of your cage,
   before you turn moldy moldy moldy!
   You were a good fishy, fishy, fishy!
   Though you will be better sushi, sushi, sushi!"
 No, he's not going to be sushi. That was the only thing I could think of that remotely rhymed with "fishy", though, besides "dishy" and "wishy". I am actually planning on dissecting the body. Vet credit, you know.
   I just knew that finding out my best friend was moving would ruin this week... Soon the milk will be spoiling, and the dog'll drop over dead! That was a cockamamie statement, but que sera sera. Should I write a eulogy for him, too? He's not dead. But he is moving to Washington. Which is as good as (and you know I'm kidding, Wes!). A eulogy may not be appreciated though. Seeing as he's still alive and kicking (which is mildly punny, him being an orange belt). Hmm. We shall see.
A much sobered EQ signing off

In regard to fish who might possibly be terrorists and/or mutant aliens:

  There have been several comments that have arisen about my fish. In my defense, I am not an animal abuser. I do not beat my fish maliciously, or force him to eat plastic rocks, or any of those other atrocious crimes. Still though, he dislikes me immensely. You can just see that little gleam in his eye. It says "when you sleep tonight, I am going to hop out of here, flop wickedly across the floor to your bed, and gnaw your toe off, causing you to die of blood loss.". See illustration:

  

(pulling the "I'M JUST A CUTE FISHY, I WON'T EAT YOU" card when most people glance at him)

Then after the people leave, this is what I see:

 

(niiicceee fishy... Eaasssyyy fishy...)

  He grows a Mohawk, gets multiple piercings, and has that freaky "I EET U" tattoo on his tailfin. He's a regular mafia fish with his own collection of AK47s. I'm lucky every night to survive!

 

(night murderer plans)

  See? Horrible behavior, I tell you! Is it possible to turn your fish in for attempted man (or woman) slaughter? What about possible ties to Al Qaeda? Look at the plans I found him trying to hide under the aquarium rocks the other day:

  

(no respect from that fish at all!)

  See? I think my terrorist fish theories may be justified! It won't be long before he blows us all up with his alleged "fish-flake bomb", then escapes, flopping, to the nearest terrorist training site. 

  

(see what I have to put up with?)

   I wonder if there is a rehab for terrorist fish? Could be something worth looking into. 

   So yes, see now, children? This is my evil fish. Haven't the foggiest what kind of fish he is, beyond malicious. His name is Voldemort, by the way.